Fruit and salad.. yet, oddly, not at all fruit salad

If you want to impress the hell out of me, make me something to eat with fruit in it that actually isn’t a dessert. No, really. I don’t know what it is exactly but the inclusion of fresh fruit in an entree makes me immediately go, “Wow, what an innovation!” as if each time I encounter such a creation, it’s for the first time ever. I guess I’m just easy to please sometimes. (Must be the short term memory loss. I forget.)

In all seriousness, I love fruit. It’s clean. It’s natural. It’s great. I’ve always found that fruits have a simple sort of sweetness unlike table sugars, where each one has a singular sort of taste that’s a signature specific to it. (Booyah! Alliteration combo!) When it comes to ice cream flavors, I’ll take fruit flavors over any of the savory flavors any day. Hell, I’ll reach for a scoop of sorbet or sherbet before regular ole ice cream if only because of the near guarantee that the frozen treat’s main ingredient is indeed fruit. And, when I think about it, sure, fruit is probably the number one reason I side with the Pie Faction in The Great Cake vs. Pie Debate (and, yes, fruit tarts totally fall within the realm of pie, thank you very much).

So, yes, fruit.

Fruit, fruit, fruit.

And let’s not even go into mere aesthetics as far as they’re concerned. I mean, I’m the only guy I know who goes into grocery stores and journeys into their produce sections with a camera in hand in order to take photos of the brilliant array of colors and pleasing natural geometries that fruit has to offer. (I get strange looks, yes.) One of these days, I’m going to make it over to the farmer’s market downtown with my digital camera in hand.. and I just know I’m going to come home with a full SD card of shots.

The main downside of fruit for me is the timing that’s involved with their handling. I mean, not only do they have a built-in expiration date, you have to consume them within a particular time window as determined by ripeness. Avocados and bananas, for example, are notorious for price differentials based on whether or not what is on display at your local grocer is already ripe or not because, really, who wants to wait around for them to ripen? After all, you need to make your banana milkshake or fresh guacamole now, goddammit, and you’ll pay whatever price for that. Well, obviously.

My other complaint about fruit is, well, it’s packaging. Peeling sure is tedious. As is pitting or removing pesky seeds. Adding fresh lemon juice to anything is a chore if only because of the steps you need to take to ensure that the seeds don’t come out with the juice (and the steps you wind up having to take because the seeds will often go into the food in spite of your efforts anyway). And then there’s coring. Bleh.

Fortunately, there’re lovely kitchen tools such as the above. That there is an apple corer or slicer. In some places, it’s called a wedger. Not only will it slice out the core of your fruit, it’ll segment it too. And it’s easy to use: simply grab the little guy with both hands, position the center hole over the stem of your apple or pear and then press straight down. It’s almost Hellraiser-like in the way it just cuts and divides up your fruit but it’s a pretty neat tool. Check it out:

Notice the weird sort of contour in the cut apple bits? The bend? That’d be from me losing my grip a little as I was pressing down. So, my bad. But still, kinda neat though, right?

So a while back, I decided to make a salad. Not the usual kind of thing I do, no, and I thought, “Hey, wouldn’t it be neat if I put actual fruit in there?” And so I did, putting that little corer/slicer/wedger thing to work.

It came out great. You should give it a whirl.

Red Butter Lettuce and Spinach Salad with Fruit and Almond

what you’ll need

• red butter lettuce
• baby spinach
• 1 pear
• 1 apple
• 1/4 c cranberry raisins
• 1 c grape tomatoes
• 1/4 c almond slivers
• 1/4 – 1/2 c feta cheese

what to do

1. Cut up apple and pear into thin slices.
2. Combine the sliced fruit with the rest of the vegetable ingredients in a large bowl.
3. Mix.
4. Top with almond slivers and crumbled feta.
5. Toss before serving. Enjoy.