First, as my man Stubb says, you’ve got to have the taste and the time. You can’t have it NOW.

Second, this is also food for winter when tomatoes are not in season. If you were to chew the bars of your cage in winter, your tongue would stick, so don’t do that.

Third, I took it for granted that readers would wash their hands before any culinary endeavor. Otherwise EW.

Fourth, it is “gravy”. It is not “a gravy”. It would never be classified as a gravy in the great grand taxonomy of food, in the exact same way that a polecat is not actually a feline and a koala bear is not, in fact, a bear.

Fifth, you do fish them out. I have edited the instructions to make this more clear.

Don’t worry about making too much. I cook this amount because I freeze most of it, making a midweek pasta dinner a snap.

First, damn you for making me hungry for this. Seriously. I want this NOW.

Second, though I know it was probably a joke, fresh tomatoes are NOT the substitute for tinned tomatoes, but rather the other way around. Just… this makes the foodie-snob in me chew on the bars of his cage.

Third, wash your hands BEFORE you make the meatballs as well as after – because you’ve been touching things and you KNOW where they’ve been.

Fourth, it’s not gravy. A gravy has flour or some other “substitute” thickener in it. This is a sauce. A glorious, beautiful sauce, but a sauce. If you added a thickener then it would definitely be gravy … and Miller explained that whole “Rhode Island” thing. So if I made this I would add a pinch of flour just so I could call it gravy.

Fifth, and this is the real question… What happened to that pork and sausage and onion?
Do they just mystically dissolve into the sauce? Do they get fished out and used for a different meal? Do they stay in there to suddenly and randomly appear on someone’s plate?
SURPRISE POKECHOP!

Darnit. It feeds 30 as well. Can’t just whip it together.