Happy Stewday Tewsday!

For the second Stewsday I observed/celebrated back in November, I did a Filipino sort of beef stew (er, not pictured above) that is kinda sorta reminiscent of a pot roast more than a stew proper. It’s this one recipe my mom used to do when I was little and, in learning it, I was surprised to discover how simple it was to make. In particular, there’s not a lot that even goes into it. Seriously. And it’s got a light gravy to it.. so light, really, that calling it a gravy seems like cheating. It’s definitely a sauce, anyway, but it’s in no way thick. This dish, if anything, barely qualifies as a stew because of the thinnish sauce but since I’ve always known this to be a beef stew variant, a beef stew it is, then.

So, there.

Neener.

Beef Stew in Worcestershire Sauce

what you’ll need

• 2 lbs beef stew meat
• 1/4 c soy sauce
• 1/2 c worcestershire sauce
• 1 large tomato (diced)
• 1 large onion (diced)
• 1/2 – 1 lb long green beans (trimmed, chopped in half if too long)
• 2-3 bay leaves
• ground black pepper
• water

what to do:

1. Throw all the ingredients into a large pot and fill with enough water just to cover everything. Allow contents to reach a rolling boil.
2. Once boiling, reduce heat to medium and let stew uncovered for about two hours or until tender, stirring occasionally. Should the water level run low and the meat hasn’t yet tenderized, add more water. Do note that the flavor you’re going for will not be there until after the meat has gotten tenderized. If at that point the flavor isn’t quite yet to your liking, only then should you adjust the flavors by adding more soy sauce, worcestershire sauce, pepper or even salt. Doing so beforehand will be a futile effort as the flavors will change over time as the meat breaks down. This can be served with a side of bread but is ideally served over rice.
3. Enjoy.

For the last couple of years now, I’ve been trying to get a special event.. nay, culinary and gastronomical tradition.. up off the ground and celebrated in as many places as I could influence. Last year, it was all set to happen: I had a plan, a mission and I was possessed of the drive to follow through and do it. I was just going to be the one guy doing it but damn it all if I wasn’t going to through with it anyway. Somehow, though, I was thwarted. Somehow, I had missed the window of opportunity to enact this endeavor and, consequently, that year was devoid of my tasty, tasty schemings. Having failed to carpe my diem then, I had to wait until such a time when next the occasion would present itself.

..which brings us to this year. This year, dear gentlemen and ladies, I managed to do it. This year it actually happened. And furthermore, it became an effort that extended beyond just the one mere person. This year, this first year, I wasn’t alone in my pioneering travails: I inadvertently wound up inspiring a small number of people around the country (and even in Canada) to follow suit and join me in my praises. Hallelujah!

So, that all said, I began my efforts to usher in a brand new tradition this year. This year I introduced to the world the idea of Stewday Tewsday (otherwise known as Stewsday).

Now what is this glorious invention? Well, it’s delicious, for starters, because who doesn’t like stew? Stewsday is a weekly celebration (and preparation) of stew every Tuesday¹ during the chilly months of autumn and winter. While it’s specifically the tried and true (trew?) beef stew we’re talking here, the definition of stew is loose enough to include such things as chili, coq au vin, braised short ribs and, heck, thick gravyish soups made from leftover Thanksgiving turkey (which, by the way, I did wind up making).

Are you on board yet? Good.

So, why the special occasion? Why the deliberate effort to encourage the creation of this dish? Because stew is hearty and warm. Stew is satisfying and filling. And served with a nice loaf of toasty bread (I’ve developed a particular fondness for Ciabatta with my stews), stew is an awesome way to spend a chilly New England evening when the nights seemingly stretch out forever and the sun becomes a bittersweet memory as early as 3:30 in the afternoon. (Not an exaggeration, I assure you).

Yes, stew..

From mid-November this year to the last Tuesday of 2009, I made some kind of stew each week and shared it among friends, singing the praises of this joyous cause for foodie goodness. In particular, I brought said stew to work with me where coworkers and I could then bask in (often) beefy joy together. In that span, I made 7 different stews, each one an opportunity to try and learn something new. So not only were we getting tasty stew out of the observance, it was a great way for me experiment in the kitchen in trying out different innovations each week.

Hooray for stew!

For the next couple Tuesday posts, I will share with you some of the beef stews I made in that time and even a Brunswick Stew as provided by guest contributor, Kitchenqueen. Mind you, the one pictured above is the Guinness Beef Stew. The one below is not. Just saying.

Now, all that being said, it’s still winter, folks. (Well, in the US, anyway.) What are you doing to celebrate Stewsday?

¹ Do note that the fundamental requirement of Stewday Tewsday is the celebration of stew on Tuesday. This means said stew can be prepared Monday and served Tuesday or prepared Tuesday and served Wednesday. Either way it goes down, a stew happening of some sort takes place on Tuesdays.

Beef Stew in Tomato Sauce

what you’ll need

• 2 lbs beef stew meat
• 2 15-oz cans of tomato sauce
• 1 large onion (chopped)
• 2 cloves of garlic (minced)
• 4-5 carrots (peeled, chopped)
• 2 bunches celery (trimmed, chopped)
• 3-4 potatoes (peeled, chopped)
• 1 c peas (optional)
• soy sauce
• ground black pepper
• 1 T thyme
• 2-3 bay leaves
• water
• vegetable oil

what to do:

1. In a large pot, add just enough oil to cover the bottom and sauté garlic over medium heat until fragrant. Add onion and cook until transparent.
2. Add beef, coating the pieces with a dusting of pepper and thyme. Allow the meat to brown, turning occasionally. Drain pot of fluids, reserving liquid.
3. Add potato and allow it to come into direct contact with the pan in order to encourage it to brown. The pan needs to be dry in order for this to happen.
4. Add tomato sauce, remaining vegetables and bay leaves. Reintroduce pan fluids. Add just enough water so that all the ingredients are submerged and add a 1/4 cup to 1/2 cup of soy sauce to the mix. Mix well.
5. Allow the mixture to boil. Bring heat down to simmer and partially cover pot.
6. Let cook for about 2 hours or until meat is tender. The meat should break apart with the somewhat aggressive prodding of a wooden spoon. Stir every half hour or so to prevent the burning of ingredients that may be stuck to the bottom of the pot. Ensure that potatoes are cooked thoroughly, occasionally smashing a potato bit against the side of the pot with the wooden spoon to thicken the sauce.
7. Completion is determined by three things: meat tenderness, potato doneness and sauce thickness. When you have achieved all three, you’re done. Discard bay leaves when ready to eat.

The finished product over penne.

What is the red stuff you put on pasta? Most people will say “sauce,” and in some cases that’s correct. In my family, the standard tomato-based sauce for pasta is called gravy. The difference between gravy and what most Americans might call marinara sauce or simply red sauce is the presence of meat. A lot of meat. An astounding quantity of meat. Our Old World relatives use the masculine nouns sugo or ragù to differentiate from the meatless salsa, which coincidentally is feminine.

Trapped inside by a horrendous downpour on the last weekend of August, I decided to take the many hours to warm the house and make a batch of gravy.

The cast of characters

Coia Tomato Gravy with Meatballs, Sausage, and Pork

Supplies:

• Four 28 oz. cans of ground peeled tomatoes. I happened to have a huge pile of farm tomatoes, so I substituted 28 ounces of those for one can. My preferred brand is Pastene. I have also used Muir Glen with some degree of success. If I don’t have fresh tomatoes, I will use two cans of chunky style tomatoes and two cans of the plain variety.
• Two 6 ounce cans of tomato paste.
• Two pounds of ground beef, 80% lean. You could use beef-pork-veal meatloaf mix, as well.
• Four eggs.
• Italian bread crumbs
• One package Italian sausages. I use sweet sausages, or occasionally cheesy garlic sausages.
• A pound or so of pork. This can be pork chops of any sort, or pork loin. Don’t worry about the bones; they’ll come out. If you have an aversion to pork for whatever reason, you can make a braciola instead.
• One onion.
• Extra virgin olive oil.
• Basil, preferably fresh.
• Sage or oregano, preferably fresh.
• Two or three garlic cloves.
• Salt.
• Pepper.
• Parmesan and/or Romano cheese.

The first thing to do is to grab a large stock pot and coat the bottom with oil. With these quantities, you should have at least a two gallon pot. My two-gallon pot did not fit all 24 meatballs, so some had to be sacrificed for sandwiches before meeting their tomato-y destiny. Set the lubricated pot on medium-low heat, then peel the skin off the onion before setting it in the oil.

Next is the first entry in the meat parade. One by one, set your pork chops or pork loin in the hot oil, browning on all sides. Don’t worry about cooking all the way through the meat; they will be covered in hot boiling tomatoes for hours. Repeat this process with the sausages. You may look into the pot at this point and say. “Oh my God, that is a lot of meat!” Well, it is a lot of meat.

A lot of meat.

Now, open the cans of tomatoes, and add them one by one into the meat salad on your stove. Now, take two of the empty cans, and fill one with water. Pour the water back and forth between the cans to wash all the tomato out. Pour this water into the pot and repeat for the other pair of dirty cans. Now add the tomato paste and stir. You may look into the pot at this point and exclaim, “There is no way the meatballs will all fit!”

No room at the inn.

For seasonings, my mother has always erred on the side of simple. She thinks that mild salsa is nearly too spicy and she dislikes garlic despite her Italian heritage. Thus, I have had to modify her original recipe which called only for salt, cheese, garlic, and basil, adding pepper and occasionally sage. Sometimes I add oregano too, but usually I save that for pizza. I add enough of each of the salt, pepper, and cheese to completely cover the surface of the liquid. The garlic cloves I slice into long slivers, and the basil and sage leaves I tear into quarters.

Once this is done, it is time for meatballs! Preheat your oven to 325°F and empty the ground beef into a bowl. Then add the eggs. Mix them furiously with a fork until well-blended. The actual amount of bread crumbs to add is a bit of a judgment call. The eggy meat shouldn’t stick to your hands when you mix it.

Yes, mix it with your hands. Just wash them after.

Ready for meatball formation.

Now, you can start taking soup spoon-size globs of meatball mixture into your hands. Roll each glob into a ball and place it on a baking sheet. When you run out, you should a nice little army of meatballs. Cover them each with a little dollop of olive oil.

Ready for the oven.

Pop them into the oven for about 15 minutes, then flip them with a spatula and return them to the oven for another 10 to 15 minutes.

The finished meatball on its way to the tomato volcano.

Finally, add the meatballs into the pot. Keep this on low heat for about 5 hours. I usually pull it off the heat once about an inch of liquid has boiled off. You should boil some pasta at the tail end of these 5 hours so that it’s ready just in time. Place some gravy at the bottom of the pasta bowl before dumping the drained pasta into it, so the pasta doesn’t stick. Take your ladle on a treasure hunt! Remove all the meats and the onion and set them aside. Serve with a small chunk of each meat and a section of the onion, grated cheese, and perhaps a side of garden salad and a taste of red wine.

This freezes extremely well. Three cups of gravy and meat is just about the right amount for a pound of pasta. Each frozen container should have enough meatballs and sausages so that nobody has to fight over them.

To sum up:

Coia Tomato Gravy with Meatballs, Sausage, and Pork

Supplies:

• Four 28 oz. cans of ground peeled tomatoes. I happened to have a huge pile of farm tomatoes, so I substituted 28 ounces of those for one can. My preferred brand is Pastene. I have also used Muir Glen with some degree of success. If I don’t have fresh tomatoes, I will use two cans of chunky style tomatoes and two cans of the plain variety.
• Two 6 ounce cans of tomato paste.
• Two pounds of ground beef, 80% lean. You could use beef-pork-veal meatloaf mix, as well.
• Four eggs.
• Italian bread crumbs
• One package Italian sausages. I use sweet sausages, or occasionally cheesy garlic sausages.
• A pound or so of pork. This can be pork chops of any sort, or pork loin. Don’t worry about the bones; they’ll come out. If you have an aversion to pork for whatever reason, you can make a braciola instead.
• One onion.
• Extra virgin olive oil.
• Basil, preferably fresh.
• Sage or oregano, preferably fresh.
• Two or three garlic cloves.
• Salt.
• Pepper.
• Parmesan and/or Romano cheese.

Procedure:

1. Coat bottom of stock pot with olive oil and set to low heat.
2. In the following order, brown: onion (whole and peeled), pork, and sausage.
3. Add tomatoes and tomato paste.
4. Add two half-full tomato cans of water, using this water to wash all the tomato out of the cans.
5. Preheat oven to 325°F.
6. Mix ground beef and eggs, then add breadcrumbs until mixture is no longer wet in appearance. Form into balls.
7. Place meatballs on baking sheet. Place dollop of olive oil on each one. Insert into oven for 15 minutes, then flip and bake for another 15 minutes.
8. Add meatballs to stock pot.
9. Once gravy has boiled down one inch, serve with pasta or freeze for later use.

Enjoy!

It took me a while to realize and, I guess, admit that the standard (American) Chinese fare of Beef with Broccoli is, in fact, a stir fry dish. I always just thought of it as Beef with Broccoli.. ya know, the dish.. and that stir fries as a trend (as an artistic movement?) happened way later.

Imagine my befuddlement.

Anyway, Beef with Broccoli is a classic and really easy to do stir fry dish. It’s probably the main reason I ever even buy broccoli and it’s a great excuse to get some vegetables on your plate. Its colors and textures are a great complement to the oh-my-god-it-really-is-what’s-for-dinner beef that plays center stage in this dish. And did I mention that it’s easy? Because, yah, it totally is.

Observe:

And here are our vegetable cast of characters: broccoli, onions and carrots. Scallions, bamboo shoots and water chestnuts are optional, sure, but I like to add them for the sake of variety not only in flavors but in textures as well. Another nice-to-have would be baby corn if you got ‘em. But if you’re not so daring, you’re solid just sticking to the first three vegetables.

And here we have some of the more.. saucier.. ingredients: soy sauce, oyster sauce, black pepper and corn starch. If you don’t have oyster sauce, you can always just throw in about a tablespoon of sugar to kinda sorta make up for the lack.

And then there’s the meat. Here we have about a pound and a half of, I think, London broil beef.

Er, that is to say, I’m sure it’s beef. No doubt about that. I’m just not sure if it’s London broil. (I forget.) To me, it doesn’t matter all that much what cut of beef you go with since it’s going to get all cut up anyway. Go with what you like.

Me, I usually just go with what’s on sale since, I’m cheap like dat.

After cutting up the meat into strips, combine it with the soy sauce and oyster sauce. Pepper as much as you want to. Mix the whole mess (by hand, preferably) and set aside. Ideally, you should allow this to marinate for about an hour but usually letting it sit while you prepare the other parts of this dish is adequate. Your mileage may vary, of course.

So, while that’s all sitting, let’s slice up some carrots. Do note how thin these are sliced. For stir fries, you generally want your hard vegetables to be thin in order to speed up the cooking time.

For the broccoli, chopping them up so that they resemble little trees works. Remove plenty of their stalks, sure, but don’t, ya know, run the whole thing through a wood chipper. These guys don’t need to be obliterated when you’re cutting them up since broccoli is alright being a little on the underdone side. Their crunch is what is often so appealing and, besides, they get steamed later.

When it comes to the onions, we want big chunks. I slice them in half along the poles and then chop those up into thirds. I suppose technically I cut them into sixths.. but that would be math.

These scallions I sliced using adamantium claws I picked up while being a test subject in a super secret military experiment in Canada one time ..but I suppose you can use a knife.

Whatever.

Ah, such pretty colors.

Now, after the meat has sat around for however long you want it to sit for, you’ll want to get some hot oil going in a large fry pan or, hey, a wok. (But since I’m not covering the tenets of wok use, you should probably use a fry pan if you want to follow these directions.)

Anyway, when things get steamy, add your meat in and let it start cooking. Be careful, though, and try to get as little extra marinade as possible to accompany the meat during the transfer. That said, you may want to use a fork and transfer the meat bit by bit rather than just up-ending the bowl.

Also, don’t throw out the contents of this bowl; you’ll be needing the leftover marinade in a little bit.

So, here’s the thing: after some time, your marinated meat will start to, essentially, bleed its juices as well as the marinade itself. This is a bad thing. Why? Because the beef will start boiling in all that liquid instead of frying or browning. Boiled is not the texture we’re going for here, folks. So let’s not boil.

To rectify the situation, you’re going to have to return this liquid back into the marinating bowl. You may have to drain the pan a couple times as the meat continues to cook.

A drier pan of meat will cook way more as intended. If you’re like me, you’ll probably see this as a good time to sprinkle some more ground black pepper on the beef. There’s nothing quite like the aroma of peppered meat browning, after all.

You should probably use this as an opportunity to turn the meat over if you haven’t already.

When the meat is sufficiently browned, add in the carrots and stir fry them for a fair bit.

After the carrots begin to soften, add in the onions and, again, stir fy a fair bit. Try to separate the onion pieces as you mix the whole lot.

The rest of the optional ingredients can then be added when the onions begin to cook.

Now remember that bowl with the marinade? We’re going to be adding some corn starch to it to thicken it up. Our marinade is going to be the sauce for the stir fry. (Madness, I know.) Mix thoroughly and make sure there are no clumps of corn starch in the sauce.

Throw this now thickened marinade into the pan and mix the whole lot again.

If it wasn’t smelling tasty already, it should now. And if it doesn’t now, you must have a cold or something.

And now we introduce the broccoli. Stir fry this a bit to get it cooking a little as well as to get it coated with the sauce that’s already in the mixture.

Now, depending on how much moisture is in the pan after the incorporation of the sauce, you may want to add about a 1/4 cup of water to the pan. Why? Because we’re going to steam these bad boys for a little bit.

Hey, look! My pan is doing an impersonation of a wok! Er, yah. My wok committed seppukku months ago. All that’s left is the cover. And given that my pan’s cover ran off with a carnie at some point, it’ll have to do.

In any case, turn up the heat and cover the pan for about two minutes, allowing the broccoli to steam.

Now check out how brilliantly green the little trees are now. And speaking of green, throw in those scallions that we almost forgot about. And guess what we’re going to do now. That’s right: stir fry some more.

When it’s all well and done, serve the dish with rice. Be careful not to overcook this since overcooked veggies in a stir fry is really unattractive (despite the taste not being terribly affected).

Beef with Broccoli

what you’ll need

• 1-1.5 lb of beef steak
• 2-3 broccoli crowns
• 3-4 medium sized carrots
• 1 onion
• 2-3 scallions
• 1 small can of bamboo shoots (optional)
• 1 small can of water chestnuts (optional)
• 1/2 c soy sauce
• 1/4 c oyster sauce
• ground black pepper
• 1-1.5 T corn starch
• vegetable oil
• water

what to do

1. Cut up meat into thin slices. Place in a bowl with soy sauce and oyster sauce. Add ground black pepper, starting off with about 2 tablespoons and upping that quantity should you desire more kick to the dish. Mix all ingredients and set aside to marinate.
2. As meat is marinating, chop up the vegetables. Be sure to slice up the carrots thinly as they are the hardest vegetable of the lot and their doneness (along with the meat) will often determine when the dish’s preparation is complete. Chop up onion into large enough chunks so that they don’t become integrated and lost in the sauce over time. Broccoli should be nice bite-sized trees and scallions should be large chunks as well.
3. In a large pan, heat up just enough oil to cover the surface of the pan. Over medium-to-high head, add the marinated beef. Try to drain as much of the meat of excess liquid before adding it to the pan.
4. Allow the meat to brown, flipping as needed. Over time, the meat will essentially bleed or otherwise sweat off natural juices as well as the marinade. Drain the pan of this excess liquid back into the marinade bowl. You may need to do this a couple times.
5. Now that the pan is drier, allow the meat to brown some more, possibly taking this time as an opportunity to pepper it some more.
6. Mix in carrots, stir fry a bit and allow to cook for a couple minutes.
7. Add in onions, mix and then allow the pan to cook for a minute, stir frying a bit as well. When the onions just begin to soften, throw in the bamboo shoots and water chestnuts (if you have them). Stir.
8. While that’s cooking, add a tablespoon of corn starch with the marinade and mix well. Should that produce a sauce that’s a little too thin, add another half tablespoon of corn starch.
9. Pour the now thickened marinade back into the pan and stir so that the sauce covers everything evenly. If you feel that there isn’t quite enough of the sauce to go around, add a couple more tablespoons of oyster sauce to the pan.
10. Add broccoli to the pan as well as about a 1/4 cup of water. Cover and allow to steam for a couple of minutes.
11. When the broccoli is a deeper green color, add scallions and stir fry everything. Scallions won’t take long to cook.
12. Serve with white rice and enjoy.

I probably should have named this particular post “A quichening” instead of “The quichening” since, really, I make quiches a lot and this is just the latest quichening effort to date. No, really. I make them a lot. A lot. Hell, I’ve easily made something like twenty whole pies since the beginning of 2009 and that number will probably double by year’s end, mark my words. They’re a simple enough thing to make, sure, but I don’t make them because of any sort of culinary difficulty rating they happen to have. No, I wind up making quiches an awful lot on the insistence of my friends.

(..and, by the way, it should be said that certain friends in particular are more insistent than others and that they absolutely know who they are and they shouldn’t try to act so scandalized that I make mention of this here because they’re not kidding anyone (although, I suppose, I can’t complain since it’s better to have people clamor for your cooking rather than not) and, wow, what a crazy run-on sentence this wound up being.)

Some of my friends never had quiche until I started making them so goddamn much and, since their introduction, have henceforth declared themselves the egg pie’s biggest fans. In fact, some of these friends are known to make plans involving my baking of quiches and generously inform me of the fact after the decision to have them made is, well, made. There’s sometimes token resistance on my part, sure, but, in the end, they pretty much always happen because, hey, quiches are tasty.

And, no, you didn’t misread that earlier – I affectionately refer to quiches as egg pies. I mean, that’s what quiches really are, aren’t they? They’re totally omelettes in a pie crust. And because they are exactly that, they are frickin’ awesome.

(The one pictured above is my signature quiche: a basil, Swiss cheese and spinach quiche.)

(This egg pie here is my breakfast sausage, mushroom onion and Monterey Jack cheese quiche. It’s my personal favorite of the kinds I make.)

So my work’s got this thing where breakfast is covered every Friday. It’s pretty neat. You go into the office that morning and there’s this spread laid out for the whole company, free for anyone to partake. The way it works is each month is pretty much “owned” by a department, the Fridays that make up that month are split up between members of that department, and these people get a stipend to pretty much plan and take care of brekkie for the company that day. And that’s all there is to it.

Last Friday was my and the saleguy’s Friday. I had been looking forward to getting a chance to rock out on the Friday breakfast dealie since my first day on the job and was thoroughly excited when the day finally came. While my co-conspirator took care of the fruit, mini-bagels and OJ part of the menu, I took care of my part: quiches. Four of them, in fact. Two of the spinach and basil ones and one of the sausage and one of the prosciutto ones.

It was great.

(Up thar be the prosciutto, asparagus and provolone quiche that I’ve only recently added to my repertoire of quichey offerings.)

That morning’s breakfast, though a lot of work (what with the procuring ingredients, the baking, the photodocumenting for this here blog and the lugging them all in a duffel bag via bus, subway and commuter rail train to the office), was actually really neat. After everyone sampled the eggy creations, praise and recognition abounded and, best of all, I was able to feed a lot of people and bring a smile to their faces. Totally worth it.

And like I mentioned earlier, yep, I photodocumented the process and it’s produced below. Photodocumenting while cooking in the kitchen ain’t easy, kids. Especially flying solo. The whole damn thing took about 4 hours to do and when I was finally done, I was pretty exhausted. That said, the following gets kind of long and kind of crazy since I’m doing four pies at the same time (go, go, gadget multitasking!), so the focus may wander a bit and meander even more. But you can pretty much follow it.

..I think.

(I hope.)

Here we have the three different kinds of cheeses I used for the quiche fillings: provolone, Swiss and Monterey Jack. There’s a fourth cheese I used (Parmesan), but that’s just used as a topping. As always, freshly grated works best.

And, of course, we have the eggs and the other dairy: butter (salted), both evaporated and whole milk a well as the aforementioned Parmesan cheese.

The majority of the veggies used were onions, mushrooms, asparagus, green bell pepper and fresh basil. Note how the mushrooms are already sliced. The green bell pepper and large onion are going to need to get chopped up. The asparagus and other onion can wait.

As for the basil, my very first go at making a quiche lo these many years ago involved dried basil (ya know, the one that comes in a small container?). I’ve since made the correction to use fresh instead because, uh, hello? Fresh? Fresh basil? Have you ever smelled fresh basil? If you haven’t, you fail and must go procure some right now.

Go on. I’ll be here when you get back.

Back already? See what I mean? Good. You may now continue with this article.

(Now, I suppose you could use dried basil if you lack the fresh variety but if given a choice, I’m sure you know which way I would urge you to go in.)

(Hint: not the dried variety.)

Here we have a lovely package of Prosciutto. In this particular case, three ounces of the stuff. Fortunately that’s all we need here.

As for crust, this is what I use. Sure, it comes out of a box and isn’t at all home-made. And, no, I don’t feel a lick of guilt over using this particular prepackaged product. Why? Because I love convenience and not only are these bad boys convenient as all hell, they’re yummy as all hell, too. But if you can make your own pie crust, hey, more power to you, mate. My focus here is on the filling and not the crust, after all, and these little guys have never steered me wrong.

The remaining ingredients: black pepper, pine nuts, minced garlic, frozen spinach, breakfast sausage and thyme. Freshly (and coarsely) ground black pepper is da bomb, folks. I can’t recommend it enough. And of course if you have fresh thyme, please use it over the dried stuff. Since thyme isn’t one of the primary flavors we’re going for here, it’s not too condemning a sin to go dry, though.

Oh, and if you’re wondering about the frozen spinach, yes, I mean the brick of green stuff you find in the frozen section at your local grocery. You’re obviously going to have to get this to thaw by either leaving it out or microwaving it. Either way, prepare the thawed spinach by squeezing it of its excess moisture.

One of the first steps for me (since I use roll-uppy premade pie crusts), is to take these guys out of their packaging to thaw and otherwise get to room temperature. Pretty necessary, yep.

The problem I ran into while doing this, of course, was the fact that room temperature at the time was disgustingly hot (Boston in August isn’t all that fun, no) and not at all room temperature-ish, really. So, I could have waited on taking them out to thaw. When I got to them later, the pie crust dough was threatening to stick to itself and meld into one solid cylinder shape. Not the most desirable outcome, no. So, yes, thaw at your own peril, folks.

Another thing to get started earlyish is the cooking of the breakfast sausages. Dump them in some water to get boiled and, ya know, cooked. It’ll take some time.

The quiche that’s going to get the primary focus first is the spinach and basil one since it’s a double-sized recipe and uses a lot of ingredients. That said, here’re six eggs and a whole can of evaporated milk getting bizzay (*chika bow wow*).

A passerby cup of milk wonders what’s going on and sees if it can’t join in because, hey, that’s how whole milk rolls, fools.

(Who knew that dairy could be so freakay?)

And then comes the beating, the senseless beating.

I did mine by hand but feel free to use a hand mixer or a standing mixer to beat your eggs and milk. The key thing here is to introduce a lot of air into your mixture to make for a fluffier quiche. Though I don’t indicate so later, I whisk each of the mixtures used for the four pies at every opportunity before they went into the oven. It makes a difference.

Since they’re going to take a while, let’s be smart and take this opportunity to toast some pine nuts on really low heat. They won’t need any oil; they provide their own.

Don’t try to short cut this process by putting them on higher heat. If you want to do this right, you do it on low and you do it for a long while, shaking them around to toast them on all sides. Otherwise, these suckers burn fast and you’ll wind up with pine nuts you can’t use and irritated for having to do it all over again. Possibly twice, even. And then you wind up like me.

Don’t be like me. Be smart.

Ever chiffonade basil? No? Chiffonading (if that is even a word) is really just a fancy way of saying ‘cut into fine shreds’. It’s easy. Stack a bunch of leaves together and roll them up as tightly as you can. (Here you’ll see that they’re not rolled up very tightly at all because, hey, I’m using my other hand to hold the camera.) And then, with a sharp knife, just slice, slice, slice.

Et voila.. chiffonade. Go brag to your neighbors that you know how to chiffonade stuff now. The fact that it sounds so French will no doubt impress them and when they ask what it means, you can get all haughty and ask in disdain, “You mean you really don’t know?“.

Isn’t cooking fun?

Throw the impressively shredded (in French, no less) basil into the egg mixture along with some black pepper and mix it all together.

Then throw in the Swiss cheese. As this is a double-portion size, that’ll be two cups of shredded Swiss. Mix again.

Hey, look! Toasted pine nuts! Way to go, smarty!

..and yah, those go in, too. Mix some more.

Now get yourself a large pan. Over medium heat, melt half a stick of butter. Yes, half. No, you can’t skimp on this and don’t even think about using margarine, you big baby. Half.

Throw in the minced garlic and sauté until they get fragrant. And they will.

Next, throw in the chopped green bell pepper and onion. Sauté until they get softened a bit and the onion gets kind of transparent.

Now we add in the spinach. Sauté some more and allow to cook to the point that the spinach is integrated into the mix.

Then add the whole lot into the eggy, basil, cheese, milk and pine nutty mixture.

Mix! Now set this aside for now since there’s nothing more to do with this quiche for now.

We move on to the other two egg pie fillings. Throw in three eggs in each of two other bowls.

To each mixture, add half a can of evaporated milk and half a cup of whole milk. Beat them like in the previous quiche mixture.

Preparing the remaining vegetables, cut up the asparagus into half-inch bits and slice up the onion thinly. The thickness of the asparagus will impact its cooking time since you want to make sure that these stalks aren’t hard in the finished quiche. The onions being thinned will make their caramelization easier to manage.

And let’s not forget about the breakfast sausage. After these guys are boiled and cooked thoroughly, allow them to cool.

Then chop them up into smaller-than-bite-sized bits.

In another pan, heat up a quarter stick of butter.

Add some garlic like before and sauté until fragrant.

Make sure the heat is on medium and throw in the onions. Caramelizing takes a while, so be patient.

In the meantime, let’s chop up some prosciutto!

After giving the onions some time to cook, we’ll throw in the sausage since they’re going to need to brown a bit, too. Every now and then stir the mixture a bit as you’re cooking to prevent burning.

So while that all is happening, let’s start in on the other quiche. And to do that, we heat up another quarter stick of butter. (Don’t act so surprised.)

In this new pan, we throw in the asparagus and sauté until it starts to soften.

Back at the ranch.. er, back to the other pan with the sausage and soon-to-be caramelized onion, we add in the mushrooms.

Do note that the mushrooms will sop up whatever moisture is in the pan for the first several minutes. They’re shifty like that. After a while, they will start to release the liquid they’ve absorbed. They’re capricious like that. If everything works out, this should mostly coincide with the caramelizing of the onion. If not, keep on cooking until the onions are a bit more caramelized, the sausage bits are browned and the mushrooms are softened and moist.

Over at one of the egg mixtures, mix in the Monterey Jack cheese, resisting the urge to just grab a handful of the cheese and eating it right there. Be strong.

To this egg, milk and Monterey Jack cheese mix, add the contents of the pan with the onions, mushroom and sausage.

Give the whole lot a thorough stirring. Then set it aside.

When the asparagus cooking in the remaining pan is a bit softened and noticeably greener, add in the chopped prosciutto. Sprinkle with black pepper as if you’re peppering some bacon.

Note: this means quite a bit of pepper if you’re a fan.

Add in the thyme, too!

At the remaining bowl of eggy milkness, add the provolone and mix well.

Continue to cook the meat and asparagus until the prosciutto becomes more vivid in color and the asparagus is softened a bit. Since this will be thrown into the oven and cooked for almost an hour, the asparagus doesn’t need to be 100% softened if you’re really that impatient.

Unsurprisingly, this goes into its respective egg mixture. And mixed, of course.

And, oh yah, pie crusts! Um.. yah. Prepare them as necessary. For me, this meant unrolling the pie crust dough and preventing it from being one solid mass of uncooperative dough in the New England heat and humidity. I don’t suggest recreating those conditions.

Ladle the quiche mixtures into their respective pie shells and put them in the oven at 350° for 40-45 minutes.

When the middles of the pies are set and they’re lightly browned, they’re ready to go. Allow them 10-20 minutes to cool and sprinkle Parmesan on them. Enjoy the hell out of them.

Basil, Swiss Cheese and Spinach Quiche (x2)

what you’ll need

• 1/4 c salted butter (half a stick) or 1/4 c unsalted butter and 1 T of salt
• 1 green bell pepper (diced)
• 1 medium onion (chopped)
• 2 cloves of garlic (minced, crushed, whatever)
• 1 (10-oz.) package chopped frozen spinach
  (thawed, well drained, and squeezed of its excess moisture)
• 1/4 c – 1/2 c of fresh basil, shredded (or 2-3 T crushed dried basil)
• 2 c shredded Swiss cheese
• lotsa Parmesan cheese
• some ground black pepper
• 2 (9-in.) unbaked pie crusts
• 1/4 c toasted pine nuts (if you feel like it)
• 6 eggs
• 1 (12-oz.) can evaporated milk
• 1 c milk

what to do:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Egg Mixture:
   In a large mixing bowl, beat eggs, evaporated milk and milk until well combined. It is recommended that you use a hand mixer on the highest setting for this but a whisk and some good ole elbow grease works the same. Just remember that the more air you get into the mixture, the fluffier it’ll be. Makes sense, eh? Set aside.
3. Melt butter in a large skillet. Sauté garlic until fragrant. Add onion and green bell pepper. Cook until tender.
4. Stir in spinach and sauté some more.
5. Now stir in the spinach mixture, basil, Swiss cheese and the pine nuts (if you got any) into the egg mixture.
6. Divide, pour, or whatever you need to do to the mixture between the two pie crusts.
7. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes or until centers are just set.
8. Allow to cool for 10-20 minutes. Sprinkle tops with some Parmesan cheese. Enjoy.

Breakfast Sausage, Caramelized Onion, Mushroom and Monterey Jack Cheese Quiche

what you’ll need

• 1/8 c salted butter (a quarter-stick) or 1/8 c unsalted butter and 1/2 T of salt
• 1 cup of sliced mushrooms
• 1 small onion (sliced into thin strips)
• 1 clove of garlic (minced, crushed, whatever)
• 6-8 links of lightly cooked breakfast sausage, chopped
• 1 c shredded Monterey Jack cheese
• lotsa Parmesan cheese
• some ground black pepper
• 1 (9-in.) unbaked pie crusts
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 can (6 oz.) evaporated milk
• 1/2 c milk

what to do:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Egg Mixture:
   (same as above.)
3. Melt butter in a large skillet. Sauté garlic until fragrant. Add onion and begin caramelizing.
4. Add sausage and allow to brown, continuing to caramelize onion.
5. Add mushrooms and continue to sauté until the mushrooms are softened and cooked.
6. Now stir in the sausage mixture and Monterey Jack cheese into the egg mixture.
7. Pour the mixture into a waiting pie crust.
8. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes or until centers are just set.
9. Allow to cool for 10-20 minutes. Sprinkle tops with some Parmesan cheese. Enjoy.

Prosciutto, Asparagus and Provolone Quiche

what you’ll need

• 1/8 c salted butter (a quarter-stick) or 1/8 c unsalted butter and 1/2 T of salt
• 1 cup of chopped asparagus
• 3 oz prosciutto (diced)
• 1 c shredded Provolone cheese
• lotsa Parmesan cheese
• 2 T thyme
• some ground black pepper
• 1 (9-in.) unbaked pie crusts
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 can (6 oz.) evaporated milk
• 1/2 c milk

what to do:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Egg Mixture:
   (same as above.)
3. Melt butter in a large skillet. Sauté asparagus until it begins to soften and gets more vibrant in color.
4. Add prosciutto and allow to brown slightly, peppering the meat and adding thyme.
5. Continue to cook until asparagus is suitably softened.
6. Add meat mixture and provolone cheese into the egg mixture.
7. Pour the mixture into a waiting pie crust.
8. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes or until centers are just set.
9. Allow to cool for 10-20 minutes. Sprinkle tops with some Parmesan cheese. Enjoy.